Oscars Part II: The Winners

BEST PICTURE
Crash - I really can't believe this movie won. I really hope it sparks a national conversation on race relations. Yeah right like that will ever happen.

BEST DIRECTOR
Ang Lee - In all seriousness he deserves this award. It was his time. He said he made this film for his father. Are you trying to tell us something Ang?

BEST ACTOR
Philip Seymour Hoffman - He gave one of the most sincere speeches of the evening. I had no idea he was raised in a single parent home. By the way, Hoffman's mom is a MILF.

BEST ACTRESS
Reese Witherspoon - Seriously I couldn't see this. I don't know why this happened. I am speechless. I hated her speech. Reese you don't matter.

BEST SUPPORTING ACTOR
George Clooney - He deserved this. Too bad Paul Giamatti got screwed again. Clooney's speech was one of the highlights of the evening. He's totally a movie star in the tradition of the old school greats.

BEST SUPPORTING ACTRESS
Rachel Weisz - I really like her as an actress but I hated this movie. I wonder who knocked her up?

BEST ANIMATED FILM
Wallace and Gromit: The Curse of the Were-Rabbit": What's up with the freakin bowties?

BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY
Larry McMurtry and Diana Ossana for "Brokeback Mountain": Well they had to give them something right?

BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY
Paul Haggis and Robert Moresco for "Crash": I said it once and I'll say it again: "I can't believe Haggis used to write for Different Strokes."

Overall I thought it was a good show. Jon Stewart did a great job as host. He wasn't edgy and he was the consummate picture of the outsider looking in.

So Three 6 Mafia won. Some of you boughy Negroes out there think it's a bad thing. Personally I think their song fit perfectly with the movie. I don't know of any song in the running whose lyrics tell the story of the movie that it's representing. This win shows that hip-hop is a true force to be reckoned with not only in the music world but in the world of film. I can't hate on them. Their acceptence speech was one of the most realest things the Academy has ever seen.

Here are a couple of highlights in no particular order:

• Lauren Bacall talking about film noir. After all these years she's still got a lot of class.
• Morgan Freeman messing up his lines.
• Jennifer Garner almost falling down.
• Three 6 Mafia winning.
• Richard Pryor being the last name mentioned in the "In Memoriam" segment. It is probably the first time a black man's name has gone last.
• Gavin Hood accepting for the best Foreign language film.
• The cast of Crash's reaction to them winning best film.