Oscar recap

C.F. Kane here in for Doc Strangejazz. Doc Strangejazz didn't have the heart to do a recap so he asked me. Apparently when Clint Eastwood was annouced as best director Strangejazz lost his mind and decided to destroy his TV. Also he was kinda disappointed in Chris Rock.

And the winners are:

BEST PICTURE
Million Dollar Baby - Seriously WTF? WHY GAWD WHY! The girl falls on a stool and the movie gets an Oscar? This is BS.

BEST DIRECTOR
Clint Eastwood (Million Dollar Baby) - DAMN YOU EASTWOOD! Scorsese got robbed. This is the 5th time he's gotten robbed.

BEST ACTOR
Jammie Foxx (Ray) - We all had a feeling this would happen. I for one had a tear in my eye. Do you realize that it took Jammie Foxx less time to win an Oscar than Tom Hanks, Kevin Spacey, and Denzel Washington? It is great that an icon could be honored by such a performance. Whatever you do from here on out please don't f*ck up by doing something stupid.

BEST ACTRESS
Hilary Swank (Million Dollar Baby) - I gotta give it to her. She was great in that movie. And ya know what her husband didn't cry like a little bitch. I'm sure her people from the trailer park are lighting the grill up tonight.

BEST ACTOR IN A SUPPORTING ROLE
Morgan Freeman (Million Dollar Baby) - You truly have come a long way from the days of Easy Reader. You are the ultimate magical negro. You sir are an inspiration.

BEST ACTRESS IN A SUPPORTING ROLE
Cate Blanchett (The Aviator) - You should give your Oscar to Scorsese. Come on Cate it'll cheer him up.

BEST ORIGINAL SCREENPLAY
Charlie Kaufman, Michel Gondry and Pierre Bismuth, for "Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind" - Good job Charlie. Your speech sucked but you get a pass cause you were nervous.

BEST ADAPTED SCREENPLAY
Alexander Payne and Jim Taylor, for "Sideways" - Well at least you don't leave the party empty handed.

BEST DOCUMENTARY FEATURE
Born Into Brothels - I loved Zana Briski's speech thanking the kids that are still in the slums of Calcutta I'm sure they were watching, yeah right.

Minor Notes:

• Chris Rock really played it safe. I'm sure he's going to come under fire for not being as edgy as he could be.
• Is it me or is Clint Eastwood's wife not white?
• P. Diddy was wearing a Sean John original tux, now that's smart, think about it he uses the Oscars as a way to promote his stuff.
• Beyonce sang like 3 out of the five nominated songs, WHY? Is it me or does she have some kind of Dina Ross complex?
• Why did Chris Rock have to yell BROOKLYN at the end of the evening?
• Is it me or does Sean Penn have no sense of humor? It was a joke Sean everyone knows who Jude Law is. He's just a tad bit over exposed.