Best and Worst of 2005

You know it's that time a year again so I give you my top 10 movies of 2005.

Munich - This has to be Spielberg's most violent movie since Saving Private Ryan. Gripping, intense and brilliant. If there was any shadow of doubt to Spielberg's genius, this movie would put those doubts to rest.

The Aristocrats - The funniest movie of the year. There are so many laughs in this movie that you have to see it several times to get them all.

Oldboy - This movie left me with a sick feeling in my gut at the end. Who knew Koreans could do Greek tragedy. This is a story that could not be told in America.

Star Wars: Episode III: Revenge of the Sith: What can I say my childhood is over. The first two were disappointing but this one wasn't.

Sin City - One of the most ambitious movies of the year. Well executed. Robert Rodriguez took a lot of flack for giving Frank Miller a director's credit. You will not see a movie that is more true to its source.

A History of Violence - One of the most direct and to the point movies I've seen in years. Ed Harris and and William Hurt play great bad guys.

Crash - This movie is packed with stars and great performances. I've never seen a movie where race and power were used so honestly. How can you not love a race movie set in Post 9/11 LA? Crash is one of those movies that attempts to make a statement about race relations in this country and tries to give equal time to all ethnic groups.

Kung Fu Hustle - As funny as it was entertaining. I was surprised by how good it was.

Hustle & Flow - Gritty but very good. Terrence Howard gives a career making performance.

Mr. and Mrs. Smith - Yeah ok I bought into the hype and ya know what? I don't care. Great action sequences. The on screen chemistry cannot be denied.

Honorablee Mentions: Batman Begins, G, Syriana, Capote, Thumbsucker, Broken Flowers, Waiting, The 40-Year-Old Virgin, Junebug, Four Brothers, Layer Cake, Shopgirl, The Baxter, Lord of War, Good Night and Good Luck, Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire.

The Ten Worst Movies of 2005

State Property 2 - WHY Dame (Dash) WHY? This was the most ghetto piece of sh*t movie of 2005.
Stealth - This was not a good movie for Jamie Foxx.
Cursed - No direction. Poor story. Should have gone straight to video.
XXX: State of the Union - Icecube really tried, but he came up short in the end.
Domino - Over done. Disappointing.
Doom - Some video games shouldn't be made into movies. Better luck with Spy Hunter Rock.
Mindhunters - This is another one that should have gone striaght to video.
Bewitched - Great premise but it ended up being a waste.
The Island- Michael Bay is repeating himself. How many times can you see the same chase scene.
The Constant Gardener - Poor execution. This movie ran too long. I don't need white people telling me how hard it is in Africa. This movie was crap.

Bloggers I would love to meet

This post is dedicated to the bloggers I would love to get into a room together.

In no particular order the following is a list of bloggers I would love to meet in real life.

Panama Jackson - The self proclaimed sexiest blogger alive, Panama's site is filled a wit and humor that revels my own. His style is off the cuff and random. He is a man who not only inspires up and coming bloggers but he's a man that often gets ripped off by other punk ass bloggers.

Kajuana - I go to her site just for her take on relationships. She's an old fashioned woman with a unique way of looking at relationships.

Humanity Critic - This brother is one of the most angriest bloggers around. If I ever meet Humanity Critic I will not tease him about David Spade or the many times he's been stopped by cops. Humanity Critic is the master of the throat chop. Do not fuck with this man.

Jackie Chiles - Jackie is one of the many contributors for the Airing of grievances. Like myself Jackie has been the only black guy in the room in many situations.

Jaine Blaize - Ms. Blaize brings the fire where ever she goes. She's had my back many times on my blog and I appreciate her for that.

Not only would I love to meet each of these guys but I would love to get them in a room together with a bottle of tequila and a camera and tape the conversation.

How's that for an update Panama?

Good bye Mr. Pryor

Richard Pryor died of a heart attack just after 8AM Saturday December 10th 2005 in Los Angeles. Growing up I admired two famous black men. The first was Muhammad Ali the second was Richard Pryor. Both men had a reputation of being rebellious black men who said what was on their minds. Both men where trailblazers and pioneers in their own way. Richard taught me that a black man can say whatever the f*ck he wanted to say whenever he felt like it. I had never seen a black man so free. I often say that my mother is the one who taught me how to curse, but the truth is Richard was the one who taught me. My mother took me to see all of his movies and that’s actually how I learnt how to conjugate the verb, noun, and adverb and adjective we all collectively know as fuck.

When I first heard that Richard died I felt numb. I thought he had at least another five years left in him but the news didn’t shock me, for years Richard had been sick and there was no sign that he was getting better. Over the next few days a lot of people will be writing eulogies in honor of Mr. Pryor saying that he was a trailblazing comic who was an influence of a generation who had many demons, blah, blah, blah. This is all true but what people leave out is that his material was the blueprint for what most black comics are doing today.

Without fear Richard talked about things that black people would only say behind white people’s back, and put it on stage for the whole world to see. He was a social critic. He made you laugh and at the same time his material made you think. He wasn’t afraid to be vulnerable or angry. He used his demons to make us laugh with him. And he never stopped being funny. I cannot stress this point enough. It took a disease for him to stop working and even then he would show up randomly at some comedy clubs in LA.

Every comic working today owes a debt of gratitude to Richard Pryor. And every black comic working today owes that nigga a check, cause every time you hear a black comic do the bit about how white people do stuff differently from black people that's a page out of Pryor’s book. Every time a comic uses the word nigga Richard Pryor (and Paul Mooney) should get a check.

Saturday night I did my best to honor the memory of Richard Pryor. I snorted a line of cocaine, banged a couple white chicks then lit myself on fire. I suggest you all do the same, because Richard would want it that way. (Just kidding, I love you man. Rest in peace muthafucka)

When wrestling gets real.

I have a confession to make. For a little over 20 years I've watched professional wrestling. Yes I know it is scripted. But that does not mean it is fake in any way (it's pretty damn hard to fake being thrown through a table).

Here's something you probably didn't know: The average pro wrestler is on the road little over 300 days a year. That means they go from city to city doing basically the same match night after night and rarely do they get time off to be with family. These guys are entertainers/athletes. Talk about dedication.

When I was young fan coming up I was unaware of a lot of the things that go on behind the scene: the politics, the a drug use, the deaths and the backstabbing. I just thought it was a good violent fun. But as I grew older I started to notice some of these guys were dropping like flies. I guess it all started when "Hot Stuff" Eddie Gilbert died of a heart attack in 1995. He was 33. When I first heard of his death I thought it was strange that a guy that young just up and died of a heart attack. Then two years later Brian Pillman (35) died. Brian Pillman bounced around the WCW and ECW (Extreme Championship Wrestling), but spent the last few months of his career in the WWE (what was then called the WWF) he died right before a PPV. The following year ECW's Louie Spicoli died. He wasn't even 30.

Then in 1999 Owen Hart died. Now for those of you who really don't know anything about wrestling the Hart family are one of the most famous families in Pro-wrestling. The patriarch Stu Hart has trained some of wrestling's famous superstars (Chris Beniot, Chris Jericho, and Brett Hart to name a few). Owen Hart died in a tragic in-ring accident on a live PPV broadcast. The following night on Monday night Raw I got to see the people behind the personas. It was one of the most emotional things I've ever seen on TV. Please keep in mind that Owen wasn't a drug user he was a all around nice guy. Probably one of the nicest guys in the business, and for him to die that way was just unfair. Watching HHH break down was one of the most real and sincere things I've ever seen. Who knew they were that close?

Why do I bring all this up? Well it happened again. Eddie Guerrero died a couple of weeks ago in his hotel room in Minneapolis, Minnesota. Eddie Guerrero was the second Latino world champion in the history of the WWE. Here's another case of a decent nice guy who battled drugs and came back and fought for his life and family only to die. He not only was a great talent but he was also a father and husband. The thing that is most unfortunate is that his death could have been prevented if he had just gone for a check up.

I know I've been out of the loop for a while and my first post coming back is about the death of a pro wrestler. Some of you guys reading this may and ask; WHY the hell is he talking about these guys.? My answer is simple. These guys lead a lifestyle in where they've sacrificed a lot of themselves to entertain people and for that they get my respect. If you've ever seen a classic match (ex. Ric Flair vs. Sting) you'll know what I'm talking about. I'll miss you Eddie. Rest in peace.

All Apologies

Dear Readers,

I would like to take this time out to apologize for my long absence. I've got several reasons why I've been unable to write lately. The following is a short list of reasons.

• Home renovations: As some of you know Professor Angry and myself live in a lovely Brownstone in Harlem. We don't own the whole building but we do have a whole floor to ourselves. We are currently in the process of redoing several rooms in the house. One of the rooms that needs redoing is my lab of intellectual exploration. My computer has been unplugged and will not be plugged back in until the lab's ceiling is fixed.

• DVR: For those of you who don't know what DVR stands for Digital Video Recorder. It enables you to program TV to record the shows you want and also enables you to stop live TV. If you are a fan of TV it is a must have gadget. But please be warned it will suck the life out of you and you will find yourself watching things that you have not seen in years. I for one have been trying to catch up with Smallville.

• Work: As most of you know I've started a new gig and it's working out fine. The people are wonderful and the job has a lot of potential. But I've got a lot of learning to do. The hours are 9 to 5 but there are times when a brother has to do OT.

So as some of you can see these factors have lead me to slack off a little. I promise you I will be back but for now I'm taking a little break. Trust me folks I've got a lot to be bitter about but for now I need to get to work so I can get my ceiling back so that I may be able to pay the cable bill that supports my new DVR addiction.

Bennett's Boo Boo

I'm tellin ya Tim my penis is this big

Sometimes being angry can just be exhausting. But then guys like Bill Bennett say something stupid like aborting black children will lower the crime rate. And I have no choice but to be angry. But then I took a deep breath and actually looked on Bennett's site for unedited audio of what he said and then I formed an opinion.

First off, there are no two ways about it he did say it. But his words were taken out of context. He had a caller who suggested that if there was no abortion we would not have any Social Security problems this lead to a discussion to where Bennett argued that this is an unknowable proposition and he sited the analysis and discussion on the closely related topic of crime and abortion in the best seller Freakonomics (written by Yale alums Steven D. Levitt and Stephan J. Dubner) and then he went on with a hypothetical analogy to point out how absurd the original proposition was and that's when things got ugly.

I can honestly say that Bill Bennett doesn't think that all black women should have abortions. But he shouldn't have used that particular analogy in such a cavalier fashion. Not while there is a National debate going on involving poverty and race.

It pisses me off that black people are so easily manipulated by the media. Here we have the opportunity to actually have a national debate about race and poverty in this country after Hurricane Katrina and what does the media do? They go the sensational route and run with a story involving an ex-Reagan cabinet member making racist comments on his talk show. This kind of sh*t takes our collective eyes off the ball ladies and gentleman. Bill Bennett's comments were taken out of context. But please make no mistake folks, there are plenty of white people out there that think black women having abortions would lower the crime rate, but BILL BENNETT is not one of them. Also let's be honest here this kind of thing is good for his show (hell I even listened to the unedited clip of the show before writing this post).

Bill Bennett's comments don't piss me off. What does piss me off is the divisive fashion the media uses race to divide us more then already are. It's as if they are saying SEE BLACK PEOPLE WHITE PEOPLE STILL HATE YOU. I don't need the media to point out this out to me. I would rather have the media spark a debate about why white people feel that the race problem was solved with the passing of the Civil Rights act, or why did black people's humanity have to be legislated? These are some of the things that lie at the core of the race people in this country.

Now some of my friends actually have opinions about this, I promised that I would use their quotes in this post but I will refrain from using their real names and instead I will use pseudonyms my friend Big Fun was quoted saying: "Well, I *think* what Bennett is really saying is that you could make an argument that aborting the children of people under a certain income level would likely end reducing your crime rate, but doing so would be every bit as reprehensible as aborting all black babies to achieve the same end. I think he is drawing the correlation between race and income level which, as we all pretty much know is not entirely without merit...but probably didn't really need to be said to make his point."

Not quite Big Fun he was actually using the analogy to make a point about how eliminating abortion wouldn't solve the Social Security problem.

This comment ended up pissing off my friend Ironman to where he responded with the following comment: "No, I think he's saying blacks are responsible for crime. He didn't mention aborting white babies. The way I read it, it's almost like he says "Damn! We just CAN'T DO IT!...because it's bad. But if we could, exterminating the Black Population by aborting all their babies would certainly drastically lower the crime rate." I recall a similar argument made toward Jews awhile back. Sadly, he is just speaking to the converted that is his audience."

It's truly amazing how my white friends approach stuff like this from two different angles. The funny thing is they were only going on what the media put out there.

New Beginnings

I spent most of the summer reflecting on what to do next. During that time I really didn't write a lot because I was either distracted or looking for a job.
The good news is that I am no longer unemployed. I was just recently hired by another financial institution. The job is more responsibility and more money. I want to thank all my friends and the people who have stopped in here to read my sporadic ramblings.

My new job requires that I wear a suit. This is very huge for me because I never thought in a million years I would be one of those guys people see on the train. You know what I'm talking about. The guy in the suit and briefcase he looks like he's got it all figured out. He looks like he makes a ton of money. The truth is. Just cause a guy wears a suit to work and carries a briefcase doesn't mean he's got it all figured out.

Losing my job was one of the most challenging things I ever had to go through and I would not have made it if it wasn't for God, my beautiful girlfriend (Professor Angry) and my family. And when I say family I'm including my friends cause I love them just as much as I would a family member. This was truly a test of a man and I'm happy to say that I pasted the test. For the first time in my life I feel like a man.

Thank you all for indulging me and please stay tuned.

Black people loot, white people find.

Upon seeing this I could have easily taken the high road and be a good Negro and say that these pictures came from two different sources and that people are blowing this out of proportion. But who the fuck would I be kidding?

I was so pissed off when I saw these photos that I responded to an email with the following message:

White people in these situations always talk about how black folks steal. I got one question for all my white friends.
How the fuck do you think we got here in the first place? The answer WE WERE STOLEN! So don't talk to me about stealing.

Some of my white friends that are reading this will think that I'm doing the old angry black guy bit but I assure you that I mean every word I said in that message. Who else out there is sick and fucking tired of this bullshit? Who else out there just wants this race shit to come to a fucking end? I for one wish to God that white people (and black people) could see the stupid shit they do to perpetuate this crap.

I've seen this story reported on other blogs and some people don't seem to understand how blatantly racist this is. And that's the fucking PROBLEM. White people don't understand why it's racist. Their logic is, "Well the pictures are coming from TWO different news sources and two different photographers took the pictures"

My response to this logic is. SO F*CKING WHAT? It's still wrong. And if you can't see that, then there's a problem with the way you perceive things. The point is WHY would one reporter look at two white people with food and say they FOUND food while another reporter looks at a young black man and say he STOLE the food.

And while I'm on a roll, can I ask y'all something? WHERE ARE THE WHITE PEOPLE OF LOUISIANA? Seriously it's as if all the white people were warned and all the black people just decided to stay. Now I know that's truly not the case because the police would never do something so racist as to just warn the white folks and leave the black people to suffer.

Here's what I think happened. You have a LOT of black people out there who didn't have the means to evacuate. Meaning they didn't have cell phones, money, cars or family that would take them in, so they were left to brave out the storm. Now of course no one thought the levee would break but it did and the rest is history.

Now getting back to my original rant about racism in the media, A picture speaks a thousand words but it's the caption that everyone reads, and that's the problem. People just need to open their eyes and maybe just maybe we can take a step toward ending the bullshit. What do y'all think?

Pat Robertson apologizes.

Is Pat Robertson flip-flopping, or is he being sincere?

Would he have apologized if the White House didn't release a statement distancing themselves from him?

Can someone out there explain to me why people listen to this crack pot? Please for the love of God please explain to me why this asshole gets the attention he does?

I just don't understand why the media would give this crackpot creditbility in the first place. It's a sad state of affairs when a man like Robertson has a lot of followers who hang on to his every word. WHY? Cause he's a preacher? What has this man done to deserve his power? Then I read this.

Now granted the link is a little slanted but there is a little truth to it. Do people really believe that God speaks to this man?

If any of Pat Robertson's followers are reading this I want you to do me the following favor. Kill yourself, seriously kill yourself, you will make the world a better place if you just kill yourself right now. Jesus loves you now kill yourself.

Starting over. Hello Windows XP.

I just want to rant for a minute so bear with me folks.

Time Warner gave me a month of free cable. Why? Because they f*cked up.

At first I thought it was my modem, so I went out and replaced the crappy RCA modem Time Warner gives you with a new Motorola. That didn't solve the problem.

They had to come out to the house three times before they realized that the wiring in my building wasn't the problem but the wiring in another building was the problem. Apparently there is a lot of construction going on in Harlem and someone messed with some cable wires that are attached to my building. So as a result of the gentrification of Harlem I went without cable for a month.

So just as my cable modem problem is resolved guess what happened....

The BLUE SCREEN OF DEATH! Nothing is worse than the blue screen of death folks. When you get the blue screen of death it's time to change operating systems. So after dropping some cash on the new modem I had to drop some cash and get XP Professional. Thanks to a connection I was able to get it at a discount.

So that's my story folks and I'm sticking to it. Granted I've been a little lazy this summer but I promise I will be posting a little more often now that I've got a PC that freaking works.

Random Friday 8/6/05

"Well I'm goin' out west. Where the wind blows tall."
-Tom Waits

• I know it's been a long time since I've posted something to this site. But there's been a lot of drama going on in my life since I've last posted something. Stuff I dare not get into today but, I do reserve the right to talk about this later. And now here are some of my random thoughts.
  
  
• I love what Carville did to Novak. Please watch it here. You know God hates a coward. Why didn't he just stay? And what's with the profanity? I hope the FCC fines his ass.
  
  
• When did it become hip to become a redneck? With all this hype surrounding the new Dukes of Hazzard movie you would think it's cool to be a redneck. Little do people know that the director of the Dukes of Hazzard is Jay Chandrasekhar of the Broken Lizard comedy group. Broken Lizard is a NY-LA based comedy group who made Super Trooper's (2001). Jay's style reminds me of some of Harold Ramis's early work. That being said I won't slam the movie until I've seen it.

Random Schadenfreude

Schadenfreude is a German expression (from Schaden: damage, harm; and Freude: joy) meaning pleasure taken from someone else's misfortune or shameful joy.

Here are some stories courtesy of Smoking gun.com, in where some of you will experience Schadenfreude.

• Billy Graham's daughter was arrested domestic violence rap for allegedly choking and pushing her husband during a bizarre roadway dispute last Friday.

• As some of you know Terry McMillan is in the middle of a vicious divorce from her now gay husband Jonathan Plummer. TSG has posted copies of the court docs put forward by Plummer and McMillian.

Hip Hop Wednesday 7-6-05

Karrine "Superhead" Steffans has just released a tell all book about her days as a video vixen.

Part cautionary tale part memoir, Ms Steffans weaves a tale marked by physical abuse, rape, and drugs -- all before she was twenty-six.

I haven't read this book yet but from what I understand Steffans, is currently a columnist for King magazine, and has also sold the book rights for a movie for 7.3 million.

So basically she slept with a bunch of rappers and did drugs and then sells her story for 7 million dollars. Granted this woman was raped at 13 and I'm willing to bet this sent her on some kind of path toward this kind of behavior. But I don't think women will look at this book as a cautionary tale. In some way I think young women out there are going to look at this book as a guide rather than a cautionary tale.

I don't have anything against this women personally but it seems that she got into the business to become famous and now that mission has been accomplished but at what price? And how is her son going to feel when he grows up and reads how his mom had sex with all these men? Fame is a funny thing, in some ways it can be a contagious virus depending on who you sleep with.

Let me know what you think people? Just cause you sleep with someone famous does that make you famous?

Happy Anniversary

One year ago today I started my blog. I just want to take this time out to thank EVERYONE who has stopped by (and commented) on this thing.

I can't believe that it's been a whole year. Time really flies when you are ranting about bullshit. I want to thank a couple of bloggers out there who keep my traffic flowing: Panama Jackson, Kajuana, Nia, Nominal Me, Humanity Critic, Ms. Blaze, Xquizzyt1 and my friend at The Marigold Trail. Thanks for linking me to your sites.

Special thanks to the people at We the Voices.com. I know the site has been on hiatus for a while but I hope you guys come back soon.

Stella's Groove sounds like the Village People

When I first hear this story I had to laugh just little.

Karma is a bitch isn't it folks. Terry McMillan has made a fortune male bashing and now it's come back to bite her on the ass.

For those of you who don't know Terry McMillan she's the woman who gave us such urban novels such as Disappearing Acts, Waiting to Exhale and How Stella Got Her Groove Back.

The heroine in her books are always these middle aged black women who've been dogged by men. But some how they manage to over come their troubles and start a new with the help of their girlfriends or a younger man.

I always thought it is kinda funny that Terry McMillan married a man 23 (Jonathan Plummer) years her junior. But for him to turn out to be gay after all this time is just amazing to me. It would appear that he seduced her and married her just to get US citizenship.

It is a shame that an accomplished, intelligent, and beautiful black woman was such a fool for love.

The real question is...Is Mr. Plummer entitled to a share of the royalties of Ms. McMillian's bestseller "How Stella Got Her Groove Back"? Personally I feel he's entitled to some money. Why, you ask? Because he was her muse. Granted it all blew up in her face but he still deserves some money for being her inspiration.

Let me know what you think on this one folks.

Hip Hop Wednesday 6-22-05

Here are some minor notes:

• March 9, 1997 Christopher Wallace (aka The Notorious B.I.G.) was killed shortly after midnight, on a Los Angeles boulevard after someone in a dark sedan fired seven shots into his sport utility vehicle while both cars were stopped at a light. Wallace was heading to a hotel following the Vibe Magazine awards show after-party.
  
  Eight years? Eight freakin years? Finally the family gets their day in court. The civil suit alleges that Death Row Records CEO Marion “Suge” Knight ordered the 1997 murder of Wallace and that former various LAPD officers helped cover up the murder and stifle an investigation.

• The Game has 300 Bars for 50 Cent. Download here. 15 minutes of pure hate.

• Cassidy was denied bail after surrendering to police. This is normal for people accused of murder in Pennsylvania.

• Rize a new documentary by David LaChapelle is set for release this Friday 6-24-05.

America's God

I thought OJ was a fluke. Then came the Kobe Bryant case (I still can't believe that it didn't even go to trial) and after that Robert Blake. Then came the BIG ONE. Michael Jackson.

For over 10 years there were rumors of child molestation. And he even had to pay one kid off back in the late 90's. But this trial was supposed to be different. The result. NOT GUILTY.

I am the owner of several Michael Jackson albums and I do like his music. But I hate what he's been reduced to over the years. Make no mistake he is probably one of the most talented entertainers ever. Do I think he molested this kid? No, not this kid. But I do think something happened with another kid at some other time? Yeah probably but we will never hear about that. Which leads me to my point.

America's God is money. It's just that simple. We talk a lot in this country, ya know what I mean. RIGHTS, JUSTICE, FAIRNESS, EQUALITY, blah blah blah. All of it is just talk folks. Money is the only thing that gets things done around here. If you are a male with enough money (and a little bit of fame) you can do ANYTHING YOU WANT. Anything? Ya mean I can kill somebody? Yes you can kill somebody. You mean I can sleep with little boys? Yes you can sleep with little boys.

Is it that simple? What about the law? What about justice? Sorry folks it's just talk.

What if instead of marching and hollarin black people POOLED their money together in an effort to obtain some kind of communal WEALTH? We (as a people) probably would be a little more ahead hmmmmmmmm. We were too busy fighting for CIVIL RIGHTS and we failed to see the big picture. We were too busy fighting the law to see that the law can be BOUGHT and SOLD for the right price. The law is not the answer, money is.
It's very upsetting to learn this simple rule so late in life. I should have kept up with those piano lessons my mom made me take or maybe learn to sing and dance or maybe play ball. Yes granted I would have to deal with being a commodity but at least I would be above the law.

Just remember folks next time you hear some guy on TV yellin about justice or some guy yelling about morality and religion. Just remember that America's God is money and the number one thing we love selling in this country is BULLSHIT.

Hip Hop Wednesday 6-8-05

Here are our top stories:

• Once again it's on between The Game and 50 Cent. Why is Hot 97's Summer Jam always controversial. I really hope this doesn't end badly. In my opinion The Game had every right to shoot his mouth off. Behind the scenes members of G-Unit have been shooting their mouths off about him for months. Case in point Tony YeYo was interviewed recently by Star (from the Star and Buc Wild show). When he was asked about the Game he called him a "Ungrateful" (I'm paraphrasing). So I'm rhydin wit cha Game. F*ck 50!

• Looks like Young Buck is going to stand trial for that Vibe awards stabbing. Maybe he'll get probation like Jay-Z did back when Jay had his little run in with the law.
  
• Speaking of Jay-Z, President Carter is going to be working with Foxy Brown on several tracks on her new album. This woman needs all the help she can get to get her self established. Now that Lil Kim is in jail there really isn't a woman in the top spot so maybe the time is right for a Foxy Brown comeback. The girl ain't even 30 and she's trying a comeback? Damn the music business is rough.

A Progressive Man's Dilemma

I consider myself an open minded progressive man. But lately I've noticed that I might be a little too progressive for my own good.

In a relationship the man and women both have respective roles. Traditionally the woman is the care giver and the nurturer and the man is the bread winner and the one that provides a sense of security. In a progressive relationship the roles can sometimes get blurred.

Growing up I thought a woman's role was to cook, clean, raise the children and look pretty. As I grew older I learnt that these expectations were a part of a patriarchy that was created to hold women down. Yeah I took a woman's studies course in college. I had no idea that expecting a woman to cook and clean was apart of an oppressive order. Who knew? After learning all this my expectations changed. I learnt to expect nothing. Whatever role you want I would complement that. But recently me and my girlfriend have been fighting over what a man and woman's role should be.

I have various roles in my relationship. I cook, lift the heavy sh*t around the house, pay the cable bill and I can be quite nurturing (supportive) when need be. My girlfriend's role is to clean, keep the lights on, and be equally supportive (and nurturing).

Now this sounds all simple and good doesn't it? Think again.

I've got no problem cooking, and being nurturing but from time to time my girlfriend expects me to do shit that I just hate. For instance. Carrying her bag. My girlfriend carries a BRIGHT ORANGE bag and from time to time when it gets too heavy for her she asks me to carry it. I know that people cannot tell it's a woman's bag but I KNOW IT'S ONE. Sorry I just had to vent there. My point is, I didn't sign on to be a freakin valet.

Question to all the ladies out there: Do you really expect your man to carry your bag (when it gets heavy)?

See my problem is I don't expect anything from her that would even compare to that. Yeah I'm a tit for tat kind of guy. I guess I'm kind of confused as to what a woman's role should be.

Ladies I need some feedback here.

Hip Hop Wednesday 6-1-05

It seems 50 Cent's empire is just getting bigger.

MTV was probably one of the first to break this story.

In my opinion it's not a bad move for both M.O.P. and Mobb Deep. The only potential problem I see happening is them going TOO mainstream to the point where the music suffers. For years M.O.P. and Mobb Deep have had critical underground success but it's never panned out financially.

And in all of this where does that leave Nas? For years Nas has had close ties to Mobb Deep. And in the past there have been harsh words between 50 and Nas. Some how I see a battle coming out of this. Hope it's good for business.

As far as M.O.P. goes I think they will definitely come out lovely with this deal. They came out on the short end of the stick when Jay and Dame split, I hope they can make some serious paper in the near future with G-Unit. I hope they can come out behind the shadow of G-Unit and make a name for themselves. Good luck boyz.

Here's a little hate on 50 Cent.

Coming out of hibernation: Lessons in Love

A week ago today I got laid off from a job that wasn't really challenging and with a boss I absolutely hated. As a result of that day, I put my blog on hiatus for a week.

Well I'm back. I want to thank everyone who took time out to comment and wish me well. It's not easy but I know I'll get through it.

Now on to today's rant. I want to do something totally different today. Normally I'm usually ranting about race, politics, music, or movies. But today's rant is going to be a little different. Today's topic is "How love varies from relationship to relationship."

Before I begin I want to set the record straight. First off, I have a girlfriend that I love and if I wasn't for these previous experiences I would not have grown into the man she loves today. Second, I want to give props to my fellow bloggers Kajuana and Humanity Critic for inspiring me. And now the rant...

I've been in love a couple of times in my life and looking back on some of those experiences I've learned that in each situation was different than the next. To protect the innocent I won't use real names. Let's start with the first one. We'll call her Keena.

I first met Keena when I was 17 years old at a Purim party. She was tall, cute and very confident. Being that I'm black and Jewish and she was also black and Jewish I thought we were a perfect match. I was naive back then and really a sucker. The love I had for her at that time was pure and naive. I believed anything and everything she told me. BIG MISTAKE! She knew every weakness I had and exploited each and every single one of them, one by one. And the funny part is I kept on coming back for more. We never really made things official and we never really had sex (although we did play Monica meets the President a couple of times), but I deep down I thought we would end up together. We were on and off for about 6 years. I think the straw that broke the camel's back was when we were in DC (a trip I paid for) and went through the trouble of buying her a dozen red roses and her response was "Where's the vase?" That day something died inside of me. That day I realized that this woman never respected me. In the end this wasn't love, but at the time I was going through it all you couldn't tell me I didn't love her and til this day a part of me still cares for her, I think part of that comes from nostalgia. Recently her grandfather died. He was a mentor to me and I really loved him. On his death bed he called me his son, and right there in my mind I made a promise to myself that I would look out for her. We talk once in a while but it feels more like a sparing match.

Let's move on to our second subject. Mary. Mary and I went to high school together. She was one year younger than me and she was one of the cutest girls in the school. She had a look about her that was just stunning, but still pretty enough to be approachable. At the time you couldn't tell me there wasn't another girl that looked as good. Eventually she gave me the inevitable "Let's be friends" speech that I had been used to getting, thereby ending all my chances of hittin it. Still I would be getting these mixed messages from her (ex. Long phone conversations in where the L word was used). But alas, she ended up going out (and losing her virginity) to this redheaded white boy who was what we called back then a wannabe, today you would just call him a wigger. That's right folks I was so corny in high school that I lost my girl to a Marky Mark wanna be. Ok to be honest she was never really my girl to begin with. We tried to remain friends even though her boyfriend wanted to get me jumped. She even set me up with my first piece of ass, her fat friend Lucy. My reasoning for hittin it was simple. I didn't want to go to college a virgin and wanted to use Lucy to get to Mary. STUPID STUPID STUPID. I know it was a sjitty thing to do and it didn't work. It took years for my friends to quit the jokes about her. The back and forth with Mary finally came to an end my freshman year in college. She had already dumped the redheaded Marky Mark wannabe and was dating some other dude who was in the military. I was watching Rikki Lake one day and lo and behold I see LUCY! The topic was something like VIOLENT GIRLFRIENDS apparently Lucy dropped a bowling ball on her boyfriend's car. I quickly called Mary to ask if she was watching this. We hadn't talked for some time and she told me she was with child. I was happy for her but sad to hear her and her man weren't getting along. I ended the conversation with me saying something like "Well at least you don't have to worry about me going after you." she asked "Why?" I responded by saying "Well I don't date chicks with kids." *click*. That was the last time we've ever talked. I haven't heard from her since. At the time you couldn't tell me what I was feeling was love but now that I think about it really wasn't.
(Note: Keep in mind I was 20-something at the time).

Now we move on to our last subject. Jenny. I met Jenny about 8 years ago. I was unemployed and living with my mom. Jenny is a Yale graduate and also holds a masters from Columbia. She's into video games and likes sci-fi. And she's very intelligent in general. When we first met she was living in LA and out here in NYC just visiting friends. We met at a birthday party for her friend Lisa. All the mushy crap that I had buried for years seemed to come to the surface that night. I fell real hard. I was like a kid again. Needless to say that kind of thing didn't really go over well with her and I was banished into the friend zone. But we managed to maintain contact with each other and eventually she moved to NYC after 9/11 (through no prodding of mine). This was probably the most complex and interesting friendships I've ever had with a woman. Through our 8 year platonic friendship I've learnt a lot about myself and I've learnt a lot about her. We've got a weird Victorian thing going on. I would go into a ton of details but chances are she's going to end up reading this. Recently Jenny told me she's moving out of NYC and going to law school in New Mexico. I wish her all the best and hope she succeeds in her endeavors whatever they may be. She will be missed. Through our friendship I learnt to feel and protect my feelings. She summed it up best by saying she would be a Sith and I would be a Jedi. Two sides of the same coin I guess huh?

These examples I've presented have lead me to believe the following: Love vaires from friendship to friendship. Woman to woman. Time plays a big factor in all of this. At the time I met Keena I was young and dumb and had no idea I was being played like a fool. As a result I tricked myself into believing that I loved this girl. Was it love? Well at the time I thought it was but now that I'm older I see it a little differently. When I met Mary I was looking for accpetance from others and I thought getting with a cute chick would solve some of those problems. In return I ended up getting the complete opposite (Lucy) and settling for just getting laid. The man I was when I met Jenny is completely different from the man I am now. We both had baggage from previous experiences and eventually we broke down each other's wall (it took 8 years) and eventually we discovered that being friends was best for both of us. Her friendship helped in the growth process.

Laid off

I went into work today and found out that my position has been eliminated.

This is sad news but I feel that I have to take it in stride. I feel awful right now as I write this but in some way I know it is all for the best.

Now to release some hate.

I really learnt the meaning of hate during my five years of employment at that place. I really hated my boss. He was the number one reason I would hate to go to work. You know the type of person that just hates everything and can never be happy? That was him in a nutshell. Never satisfied and never really happy. I feel sorry for the people that I left behind today because they have to live with that guy.

To call him a piece of shit would be a disservice to all pieces of shit world wide. If he had a personality he would probably be a piece of shit. But alas he doesn't even have enough personality to be considered a piece of shit.

There were times in where I wished he would get a cancer and then have it go into remission. Then on the day he walks out of the hospital with a new lease on life he would get his by a truck and die a painful death.

But that is not to be. Finally I can get a new start on life and with the support of friends and family I will get through this. The bright side of this is I will now be blogging more than EVER. So please stay tuned. Things are about to get interesting.

Thank you.

Hip Hop Wednesday 5-18-05

First some minor notes:

• Out with the old and in with the new. Eminem has a DJ. Recently DJ Green Latern, voluntarily left Shady Records after a conversation with 50 Cent's adversary Jadakiss was unknowingly taped in a conversation about the pair' beef was released on a DVD.
• Remember last year 50 Cent jumped into a crowd at a concert because someone threw a water bottle at him? Well he ain't going to jail for that sh-t.
• Mixtape Awards founder Justo Faison died in a car accident Saturday. For those real hip hop heads out there this is a huge loss.

And now the main story:

Russell Simmons (founder of Def Jam records) recently responded to Abraham Foxman's comments on Millions More Movement by saying: "Simply put, you are misguided, arrogant, and very disrespectful of African Americans and most importantly your statements will unintentionally lead to a negative impression of Jews in the minds of millions of African Americans."

Well done Russell. What business is this march of theirs? Why is it that whenever black leaders come out to support something positive Farrakhan does Jewish leaders have to come out and remind the black community that Farrakhan has made anti-Semitic comments in the past?

Maybe the answer is simple if we go back in history. Jews and Blacks worked very hard together during the civil rights era. Jews through the years have donated a lot of money and time toward black causes, all of this is well documented. Maybe some Jewish leaders feel slighted whenever a black leader lays down with Farrakhan. I can understand that. But somewhere deep down I feel that guys like Foxman sub-consciously feel that black people owe something to the Jewish community for stepping up during that time. Before I go to far with this post I want to make something perfectly clear.

I was raised as a Jew. And I am black. Believe it or not. Ok now that we've got that out the way I can get back to our regular scheduled rant.

I don't think the black community owes any kind of explanation to any Jewish leader for what is going on with the Millions More Movement. Jewish leaders never have to explain themselves to black people. Why should we be accountable to them? Just cause you marched and gave us some money doesn't mean that you have a right to scold us for teaming up with Farrakhan. Farrakhan has made anti-Semitic remarks in the past no doubt but SO WHAT. Anyone remember Meir Kahane?

The bottomline is that the ADL should just but out. They should use this opportunity to reach out to this man and try to bring some kind of peace between Jews and Blacks. But instead he has to play the role of a critic. It's a damn shame in my opinion.

Just shut up and catch the ball boy.

I just finished reading an article about Javon Walker written by Jeffri Chadiha. And it got me thinking, about what white America expects from its black athletes.

Millionaires can't bitch. If you are making six-figures you can't ask for more money. Where do they get off? Why can't they just shut up and play?

If I was a white guy with a beer gut making minimum wage at the local Sip and Dip I would feel the same way. But I'm not that guy. At the end of the day pro-sports is a business. It is what it is, not everybody plays for glory people. And please believe me when I say there are a lot of white guys out there that are making more money off of these black millionaires than I can shake a stick at.

Now just hear me out. This post isn't about whether they should be asking for money is right or wrong. In no way am I trying to defend the actions of what TO and Javon Walker are doing. This post is about how it is more beneficial for a black athlete to keep his mouth shut and get paid rather than open his mouth and get bad press.


Through the ages white America has enjoyed watching black men run, jump, and catch. But the minute we have something to say the black athlete gets bad press and is called out for being uppity. Wuz up wit dat? I'm good enough to be your entertainment but I can't open my mouth to say that it was a bad throw?

Javon Walker is an example of what white America wants. Please don't think I'm calling him an uncle tom for that. I am merely saying that he is doing what is expected of a black athlete (keeping his mouth shut). He took his lumps from his QB (Brett Farve) and he's moving on in silence. Will he get his money? Maybe. We do know one thing though. He won't get any bad press because he's keeping his mouth shut. Now TO is what white America hates. He's a mercenary. Jumping from one team to the next in search of a bigger check and glory. White America hates a brotha like this cause he's playing the system for all it's worth.

I ain't mad at either of them. The shelf life of a NFL player is short so you might as well get all the $$$ you can while you are physically able. Seriously what are these guys going to do when they retire? Sell cars? Go on TV as commentators? I hope they save their money and do something smart with it.

Is Bill Cosby Right? Yes he is Mr. Dyson.

I recently got a chance to see Michael Eric Dyson speak in Harlem at the HueMan Bookstore. For those of you who are not familar with him he's the scholar that white people drag out from time to time to explain black culture to the white masses. Frankly I don't like being explained to folks. Either you get it or ya don't. Mr. Dyson is a professor (University of PENN) and a ordained Baptist minister. Michael Eric Dyson. Dyson just finished a book titled: Is Bill Cosby Right?: Or Has the Black Middle Class Lost its Mind? I think it's great that he's keeping this going. It's good to have a national debate about this kind of thing, and if his book continues the dialogue then so be it.

Dyson was very eloquent and used all kinds of big words and flowery speech to make his point. Basically in a nutshell Dyson doesn't agree with Bill Cosby. He feels that Mr. Cosby was picking on poor people because; they're an easy target. Dyson brings up some interesting questions toward Cosby. Why now? You've never wanted to be identified as an expert on black people why do you want to be identified as one now?

Hearing Dyson speak is very exasperating if you don't have a broad vocabulary. He speaks so fast and moves from one topic to the next it can be hard to keep up. He reminds me of one of those brothas that spent all his time in jail reading the dictionary and can't wait to use all the big words he learnt on the inside. Dyson feels Cosby is misguided and bitter; there was no love in what Cosby said.

My opinion of Dyson is he's one of those black men that walk the tightrope between the street and college, personally I feel they should cut that rope, it's a real simple choice the gun or the book. The choice is yours black man; Dyson has all the tools to be called a black leader he's an accomplished author, a college professor, a ordained Baptist minister and activist so naturally people are gonna want to hear him speak. He means well in his message but I just think he's a tad bit too slick for his own good. Shouldn't he be reaching out to Cosby instead of slamming him in a book?

It was very frustrating listening to him go off on Cosby. At one point he had the nerve to say that Cosby has never addressed white supremacy. This all depends on what you what you mean by the phrase "address". I've seen numerous interviews in where Cosby has addressed white supremacy by saying; yes it exists but should we let that stop us from succeeding? It didn't stop black people in the 40's 50's and 60's so why should we use that as an excuse? It's not necessary for Cosby to bring up white supremacy, because it is something that has always existed and something we have always had to work around. White supremacy is the reason how black people ended up in America in the first place, we know this Dyson! but what are we prepared to do to fight it? Now if that's not addressing white supremacy I don't know what is.

After the lecture he took some questions from the audience. He didn't call on me. He got a bunch of softball questions from the audience. By then I was just too flustered that I had to go to Popeye's to calm down.

Here are some questions I would have liked to ask Dr. Dyson:

• Have you ever lost (donated) millions of dollars to a cause and not see any progress?
• What would you say to a person who spends more money on sneakers than on their own children?
• When are we as a people going to stop caring what white people thinking of us?
• How many ten-dollar fancy words are in your book?
• What do you think MLK would say of all of this?

Basically my impression of Dyson is that he's saying everything that black people want to hear but nothing they need to hear. Cosby intially said a lot of harsh things, but he's paid his dues and he has every right to speak his mind whether it be harsh or not. Cosby wasn't talking to the hard working people who are just trying to get by. He was talking to the people who are out here making the hard working people look bad. People often forget that Cosby grew up poor and no matter how much money you earn in life it still cannot wipe out those early memories of youth.

Thoughts on Star Wars (feeding the hype machine)

Last night Nominal Me and myself were out on the town. We managed to get on the topic of Star Wars and at one point in the conversation he turned to me and said, "May 19 our childhoods are over." I looked at him and said "Yeah I know."


I had been thinking the same exact thing for a number of months the feeling became more real to me after I bought my ticket. Now granted I'm in my early 30's but I still go to comic book stores, I still like sci-fi and I still play video games. But this movie changes everything for us sci-fi geeks. There will be nothing left for us because we've seen it all (Spider Man, X-Men, and the Lord of the Rings Trilogy etc.) But this is different from all the others, finally it's happening, all the pieces are going to fit together and we will finally know how Darth Vader came to be.

As a kid I wished for a channel devoted strictly to cartoons. Now we have two. I used to wish for a channel devoted strictly to sci-fi. Now we have it. As a kid I wished they had went back and told the story of Star Wars from the beginning. Now they have. What's left?

I bought my ticket for the midnight show (5-18-05) on 4-21-05 a few days shy of a month before the opening. I picked Union Square because it's one of my favorites and it's right across the street from the Forbidden Planet (a great comic book store). It's the perfect location. I plan on getting home from work eat dinner and then take a nap so that I won't be too tired once the movie starts. I will probably get there by 10PM so to avoid the line.

I need a front row seat to the end of my childhood.

Shameless self promotion on a Friday

We the voices.com has just updated its movie section.

Check out my reviews of XXX: State of the Union and Crash.

Fringe Thursday 5-12-05 Velocity Girl

Last week we saluted Bettie Servert, this week we give props to another band that never quite got the attention they deserved. Washington D.C.'s own.

Velocity Girl


Taken from allmusic.com

Velocity Girl emerged as one of the most successful and acclaimed indie-rock bands of the early 1990s. Their roots lie in the short-lived Gotterdammacrats, which formed in Silver Spring, MD in September 1988 around the nucleus of singer/guitarist Archie Moore, bassist Kelly Riles, guitarist John Barnett and drummer Berny Grindel. Barnett exited following the first performance, and after playing a series of gigs as a three-piece, in the summer of 1989 the group welcomed vocalist Bridget Cross and adopted the name Velocity Girl, borrowing the moniker from an early B-side by the then-obscure British band Primal Scream. As the year drew to a close, the band made its recorded debut with “Clock," a contribution to the compilation What Kind of Heaven Do You Want?, the first release on the fledgling local label Slumberland. Drummer Jim Spellman replaced Grindel in the fall of 1990, and after completing the single “I Don't Care If You Go," Cross left the lineup early the following year; she soon resurfaced in another seminal D.C. indie band, Unrest. Singer Sarah Shannon was tapped as Cross' replacement, and a week after adding second guitarist Brian Nelson—Moore's bandmate in the pioneering Black Tambourine—Velocity Girl entered the studio to record its breakthrough single, 1991's “My Forgotten Favorite." The record was a major college radio favorite, and brought the group to the attention of the Sub Pop label, which released a split single featuring Velocity Girl and fellow D.C.-area band Tsunami in early 1992. Velocity Girl remained with Sub Pop to issue its 1993 full-length debut Copacetic—a much-acclaimed set featuring the singles “Crazy Town" and “Audrey's Eyes," its ingratiating noise-pop approach proved pivotal in expanding Sub Pop's image beyond that of merely a Seattle grunge label, and at the time was the second biggest seller in the company's history, behind only Nirvana's Bleach. The follow-up, ¡Simpatico!, was even more successful, generating the minor hit “Sorry Again." 1996's Gilded Stars and Zealous Hearts was far less fulfilling creatively and commercially, however, and after completing the album Shannon relocated to Seattle. The group's days were clearly numbered, and a U.S. tour culminated in a farewell show at Baltimore's 8x10 Club that September.

I remember being in college.
I remember watching the video for Crazy Town on MTV's 120 minutes.
I remember seeing them live at Tramps in downtown Manhattan on Apr. 20, 1996. I was out of college by then. I saved the ticket stub.

VG was one of those indie bands that never quite took off because they were really not grunge and they really weren't pop. They were decent live but really weren't as flashy as their contemporaries. What I loved about them is they made catchy songs that had cool lyrics and good hooks.

I suggest you pick up a copy of Copacetic and check out track #1 called Pretty Girl.

Hip Hop Wednesday 5-11-05

Here are some random notes.

• The Game has truly changed. Now I'm all for a man evolving and becoming more positive. But changing the tear drop tattoo to a butterfly? Come on Game, I understand you want to be more positive, but gangstas don't tattoo butterflies on their faces.

• Tom Green is planning to put out a rap album. Well before you go WTF? Green before he became a comic was in a group called Organized Rhyme.

• M.O.P. has left Roc-A-Fella records. Now personally I think this is a good move for them. M.O.P. has never been one of those groups that I saw going mainstream. Maybe it's a smart move for them to go back to the underground.
  
  Now our main story:

Vs

Foxy Brown denies it but Miami rapper Jackie O says it happened. First thing I asked myself when I heard about this was: Who the hell is Jackie O?

Apparently Foxy was in Miami and was invited into the studio by Jackie O, words were exchanged and that's when people's stories get shady. Jackie O's people says she knocked out Foxy Brown and Foxy's people are saying it didn't happen. Now I understand that she doesn't want to lose face, but I also see that no one outside of Miami has really heard of this Jackie O chick until now. I think she's just trying to make a name for herself. And at the same time Foxy is trying to promote her new stuff so I'm a little suspicious of this whole thing.

My Crazy Daydream

I must be losing my mind because I just had a crazy ass daydream yesterday.

I dreamed I was...(hold on to your seats) a BLACK LEADER. That's right yours truly Doc Strangejazz a certified BLACK Leader.

That's not all I dreamt. I dreamt that I was holding a press conference and I had on stage with me the following people: Bill Cosby, Michael Eric Dyson, Richard Parsons (CEO of Time Warner), Julian Bond (Executive Chairman NAACP), Louis Farrakhan, Condi Rice, Jay-Z, Sen. Barack Obama, Armstrong Williams, Al Sharpton, and Jesse Jackson and a host of others I will mention through out this post. It was a big freakin stage ok.

I know it's crazy to have all those people up on stage with me at one time but this is my dream so just roll with it.

I took the podium and gave a speech that went something like this:

Ladies and Gentlemen of the press, I come to you a humble man with a mission. My mission today, well our mission today is a hard one. But it is one that I think we can complete in my lifetime. Our mission simply put is to end the bullshit that permeates our culture. Simply put people, the nigga nonsense has got to go. From this point forward all of my compatriots that you see here on this stage will work together with me and many other leaders to end the nigga nonsense. From this point forward all questions about black leadership shall be deferred to me. No more will we have you (the press) deciding who our leaders are for us. You're looking at him people. Simply put I am the only black leader you will need to come to, from this point forward. Now I'll leave the floor open for any questions.

The first question came from a reporter in the front row. Mr. Strangejazz what are you plans for Black America?

First off call me Dr. Strangejazz. We have many plans. We have collectively decided to have a 15 year moratorium on all professional sports and entertainment. We've decided collectively to not sing, dance, or play any sports. That means you won't see any new black artists or athletes coming out for at least 15 years. I wanted to shut it all down but that would cripple the economy so we compromised and settled for the fifteen-year plan. Next question.

What do you plan to do about the incarceration rate of black people?

We are working on this problem on two fronts. Many of you know that recently we lost a great legal mind in one Johnny Cochran. He will be sorely missed. Before his death we were able to get a sample of his DNA and brain matter. From these samples we were able to produce clones of Mr. Cochran. Now of course these clones do not look exactly like him, but trust me they are have his skill. We have thousands of them currently working on appeals for our incarcerated brethren. That’s on one front; we are also working with Sony and Microsoft to provide computers and PS2's for the kids who are in certain target areas. If they are on the PC or the PlayStation they won’t be on the street doing harm to anyone or themselves. Those are just a few of the ways we are handling the problem. Next question.

What do you plan to do about the image of black people?

Glad you asked. As you know this is a huge problem for us. Mr. Parsons, Mr. Cosby and I have worked out a deal in where Viacom will be selling us back BET. We’ve also acquired UPN. Once these deals are final, effective immediately the programming will be radically revamped. We plan to do it right this time around people. In addition to that we are instructing all black people not to audition for any reality television shows that includes talk shows such as the Rikki Lake show, Jerry Springer and Montel Williams. We also would like to inform you that we will only have four comics working on a mainstream basis. Chris Rock, Dave Chappelle, Eddie Griffin and Paul Mooney. Of course other comics will be allowed to work in clubs and do standup but we’ve come to an agreement that only four comics will be allowed to shuck and jive and make you white folks laugh. Next question.

Dr. Strangejazz do plan on running for president?

No. My job is here with my people. There’s a lot of work to be done. One thing we are currently working on that’s close to my heart is getting black women to wear their hair naturally. It’s gotta be nappy if we are going to be happy. And while we're on the subject of hair. No more jerri curls. Anyone caught with a jerri curl will be shot on site. Right here in my hand is a piece of legislation that was just signed into law that allows any police officer to shoot anyone wearing a jerri curl. Not kill just shoot. They should get the message after that. Last question please we've got a meeting to go to at Cosby's house.

Dr. Strangejazz what does the black church think of what you're doing?

Well as you know the black church the cornerstone of leadership for our people. That’s going to radically change now that I’m in charge. Churches will now be required to teach our people about money, how it works, how to invest and make a profit. Of course a few churches have similar programs like this but we plan to increase that number drastically over the next few years. We are going to empower the people with knowledge of how money works. Ok folks we gotta get out of here so thank you and take care.

Fringe Thursday 5-05-05

This post is dedicated to a band that never really got the mainstream attention they deserved.


Bettie Serveert

Taken from Allmusic.com:

Bettie Serveert were formed in Amsterdam and existed briefly in 1986 when De Artsen members Peter Visser (guitar) and Herman Bunskoeke (bass) quit their band to join up with Canadian-born vocalist Carol van Dijk, whose family moved to the Netherlands when she was a child. However, with the release of their debut album, Conny Waves With a Shell, De Artsen gained a wider audience around Holland, and with plentiful demand for their live act, Visser and Bunskoeke rejoined; meanwhile, van Dijk was hired as De Artsen's new sound engineer. When De Artsen broke up again in 1990, Bettie Serveert reconvened with new drummer Berend Dubbe, a childhood friend of van Dijk's and a roadie for De Artsen. Dubbe suggested the band's name, after an instruction manual by Dutch tennis star Bettie Stoeve.

Bettie Serveert recorded a seven-song demo in early 1992 that found its way to the American indie Matador, thanks to a friend of the band who worked in a specialty record shop. Matador signed them immediately and released their debut album, Palomine, later that year. Palomine received enthusiastic reviews, and the singles "Tom Boy" and "Kid's Allright" landed substantial airplay on college radio, making Bettie Serveert extremely popular on the campus circuit. They launched an extensive supporting tour of America, and became genuine stars in their home country; they also helped establish Matador as America's emerging indie label of choice, along with seminal artists like Pavement and Liz Phair.

In the wake of Palomine, Bettie Serveert spent around three years on the road, playing with artists like Belly, Dinosaur Jr., Superchunk, Buffalo Tom. When it finally came time to record the follow-up to Palomine, the band was still scrambling to craft more material; although Lamprey was generally well-reviewed upon its release in 1995 and sold decently among the group's college fan base, it proved a more erratic collection than its predecessor.

Hip Hop Wednesday 5-04-05

Just some minor notes.

May 15- 22 is Hip Hop Appreciation week. Please feel free to click on the link. Would you believe they have more events planned in Portland Oregon than they do in New York? Something is off there.

Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy was number one at the box office this past weekend. Who knew Mos Def would beat out Icecube when it came to the movies.

The Game just landed EA Sports Madden 06 title track. Ironic that he was shot in 2001 while playing Madden on PS2.

Hating on the List

People Magazine has released it's 2005's 50 Most Beautiful People list. So here's my take on the list so far. Click on the links and judge for yourself.

Jessica Alba - I'm amazed that no one has found out that she's mixed. Her father is Mexican and Indian.
Jennifer Aniston - Maybe 5 years ago (when the b*tch had a show) but she hasn't been the same since Brad left.
Drew Barrymore - No. Are you freaking kidding me? You could go to almost any bar in NYC on the upper east side and you'll see chicks ten times better. WTF?
Mischa Barton, The OC - She's got a great face but she's just too damn skinny. Why won't this b*tch eat?
David Beckham, International soccer star - Yeah it's pretty obvious on this one. The f*cker can sure kick a ball.
Halle Berry - Yeah she's hot as hell but I still wouldn't drive with her. Something about her just ain't right.
Orlando Bloom - Bulk up kid. And keep the goatee. For his sake I hope he never has to go to prison. He's just too pretty.
Penelope Cruz - I don't get it she looks like a moth. Is it me?
Patrick Dempsey, Grey's Anatomy - I loved him in Can't Buy Me Love. He's aged well. I always thought of him as the poor man's John Cusack.
Johnny Depp - No denying this one. I like him cause he makes himself ugly on purpose to be taken seriously as an actor and what happens..He gets put on lists like this. He can't avoid his looks.
Hilary Duff - Enjoy it now, cause you will not age well kiddo.
Sara Evans, Country singer - Average at best. She doesn't deserve to be on this list.
Colin Farrell - I like his dirty look. Check for him in 20 years. Brando anyone?
Jamie Foxx - The new Denzel? Ya done come up son.
Tim Green, former NFL star and best-selling author - He looks like Matt Damon. Is it me?
Mariska Hargitay, Law & Order: SVU - Yes. Her beauty is arresting. Oh come on it was so there.
Tyler Hilton, One Tree Hill - Great another dim looking guy. That's all we need. Keanu anyone?
Josh Holloway, Lost - He sure knows how to play a redneck. I guess he got the trailer park vote.
Scarlett Johansson - The lips are just spectaular and the voice is so raspy. I wonder if she has small hands. Nothing like a chick with a raspy voice and small hands.
Angelina Jolie - I wonder where she stole them lips from? Maybe that's why she's always traveling to Africa doing charity type stuff. She feels guilty for stealing the lips.
Juanes, Colombian musician - He looks like Antonio Bandaras.
Alicia Keys - She belongs on this list. No hate on this end. Just stop wearing that hat gurl.
Heidi Klum - Typical. Nothing special here ok maybe the boobs but it ends there. Another skinny white chick BIG DEAL.
Jude Law - Too charming for his own good. His head is a tad bit too big don't ya think?
Lindsay Lohan - Is she still jailbait? No denying this one. She's hot. Too bad about her messed up family.
Eva Longoria - She needs to be a Bond girl. Very hot.
Jennifer Lopez - yes. And that goes double for her ass.
Ann-Margret - Maybe 40 years ago but not today.
Matthew McConaughey - He drinks like a fish and he bangs latin chicks what's not to love.
Eva Mendes, Hitch - I hear she's hotter in real life. She needs to do something with that hair though.
Jesse Metcalfe, Desperate Housewives - Well I guess he's better than Ricky Martin.
Sienna Miller, Alfie - Riding the coat tails of Jude Law.
Catalina Sandino Moreno, Maria Full of Grace - She has a genuine look about her.
Sandra Oh, Sideways, Grey's Anatomy - Heard she just got divorced. I just saw her do a love scene with a black man last week so her stock went up with me.
Sophie Okonedo, Hotel Rwanda - Flawless. Nice to see a fresh face on these things.
Clive Owen, Sin City, Closer - The return of the rugged man. He's got to be the next James Bond.
Tyler Perry, Diary of a Mad Black Woman author - Two letters DL! Dat's right I said it.
Brad Pitt - Of course. Over 40 and still going strong. George Clooney must be giving him tips.
Julia Roberts - WHY! Couldn't they dig up Trigger? Here's a little joke: Julia Roberts walks into a bar and the bartender asks her why the long face. GET IT!
Seal - Riding coat tails of a skinny white chick. I ain't mad at ya scarface. This is proof that if you can sing well you can get model type chicks to fall for ya no matter what.
Maria Sharapova, Russian tennis player - Serena she ain't.
Jessica Simpson - She's too damn cute. It's almost unnatural. She's got to be from another planet.
Elizabeth Smart, Utah teen - Brave maybe. But beautiful? Come on. Why cause she got kidnapped 8 miles away from her home? Walk home bitch! Damn they left the house a couple of times.
Martha Stewart - There's just something so bad about her. You just know she's a closet freak. She's all Home and Garden on the outside but deep down on the inside behind closed doors she's all Leather and Lace. Oh I feel so dirty talking about her.
Hilary Swank actress - WHY ? Seriously why? Must be the butch action she's got going on.
Usher singer/actor- Eh? Really did I miss something?
Dwyane Wade, Miami Heat basketball player - Jordan he ain't
Oprah Winfrey - You just know she bought her way on to the list.
Kate Winslet - EH?? Come one are you people serious? Hideous Kinky? WTF?
Ziyi Zhang, House of Flying Daggers - I would learn Chinese if I knew there was a chance I could meet her.

It's nice to know they added more black people this year. But it's a shame the list didn't go further and add more Asians. Check out last year's list here.

Hip Hop Wednesday 4-27-05: THE RETURN

First some minor notes:

• In addition to the new Outkast movie and staring in Be Cool, "Andre 3000” Benjamin has been tapped to star in and produce a new untitled musical. The musical will concern a man with "magical" powers. Great that's all we need another Magical Negro.
• Don't be fooled by the bootlegs of Common's new album. According to Common "They ain't got all the songs yet."

And now our main story.

I hope the movie isn't half as bad as the soundtrack. I recently got to a chance to listen to samples from this album so let's run down the track list:

Get XXX’d by J-Kwon featuring Petey Pablo & Ebony Eyez - I'm just not feeling this one.

Anybody Seen The PoPo’s?! by Ice Cube - I guess it was in his contract that he had to contribute to the soundtrack.

Fight The Power by KoRn featuring Xzibit - This probably was a good idea but the execution is just garbage.

Messiah by Dead Celebrity Status - They sound like early Cypress Hill. Check out their site here.

Oh No by Big Boi featuring Killer Mike & Bubba Sparxxx - Weak production can bring a record down no matter who is spitting on the track.

The Payback by P.O.D. - Not a bad track, but I expect better from them.

Dirty Little Thing by Velvet Revolver - I'll always have a soft spot in my heart for STP and GnR so I'll give this track a pass.

Wyle Out by Bone Crusher - Throw ya bows y'all Bone Crusher repeats himself into oblivion with this one.

Here We Go by Dirtbag - This track is produced by Timbaland. And that's probably the only good thing cause I wasn't really listening to the words.

Dis Dat Block by YoungBloodZ - I'm sure this song will uplift the black community. SIKE!

Lookin’ For U by Chingy featuring G.I.B. - Just press skip.

The March by Hush - Hush is a MC from Detroit, but don't think he's another Eminem he sounds more like Icecube before he went Hollywood. This track is one of the few bright spots on this album. Check out his site here.

MKLVFKWR by Moby & Public Enemy - The colaboration looks good on paper but it really misses the mark on this one.

Just Like Wylin’ by Bone Crusher & Three Days Grace - This is probably the most radio friendly song on the album. I'm sure this song is in steady rotation on your local KRock station.

Did It Again by Labba - This cat sounds like a southern version of Shyne without the depth.

The Good Song by Tonéx - This song sounds like Prince post Purple Rain. Gospel and funk can sound good together but this ain't that song.

The movie comes out this Friday April 29, 2005.

Interview with the Last Comic Standing

Before I left for Morocco, I got a chance to meet with the Alonzo Bodden. For those of you who don't know Alonzo was the winner of the Last Comic Standing TV show. Standing at six feet Mr. Bodden is very physically intimidating, but at the same time he was very nice once you get approach him.

How many years have you been doing Stand-up?
12 YEARS AS OF JANUARY.

How did you find out that Last Comic Standing got cancelled?
We taped the last show on Tuesday and they called Wednesday morning. It was funny because there was threat of cancellation after the 3rd or 4th week. No one expected them to just cancel he last episode.

Do you have a development deal with NBC in the works and if so what's it about?
NBC has a holding deal on me until august. Basically I can't do any other shows without their permission until then and they could use me for a pilot but they haven't yet guess I'm not the Law and Order type.

Who are your influences?
BILL COSBY, GEORGE CARLIN, ROBIN HARRIS, GEORGE WALLACE, STEVEN WRIGHT, CHRIS ROCK, DAVE CHAPELLE.

What is the question that most interviewers ask you that gets on your nerves?
Would you do my blog, no seriously it would probably be the questions abut why NBC pulled the show, since I don't really know. I don't even know who's decision it was, they don't explain anything to us. They're just unnamed network suits.

If you get a chance to ever see him perform please make sure you do.

Thoughts on Morocco: The Wrap-Up

The next day (Monday) we shopped for carpets. Actually the correct term is Kilim.

Kilim rugs is a tapestry rug woven from fairly harsh, thick wool. Most kilims are reversible, but rarer Kilims have loose ends on the back. Kilim rugs are made by nomadic peoples in Turkey, Iran, Iraq, Russia, China, Pakistan, India and Morocco.

All of the Kilims that we bought were made by Berber women. The Berber is a ethnic group that still lives up in the mountains of Morocco (Yes, Morocco has mountains).

Professor Angry and I woke up early that day. She gathered all her information and research, placed it in her bright orange bag that would eventually become too heavy as the day drew on.

Omar walks us down a alley in the medina to the carpet store. And once we walk in we see. Carpets.


and more carpets.


I don't get impressed easy but DAMN this place was incredible. They were very happy to see us in a genuine kind of way. We sat down and the salesman called over his assistants to give us a demonstration. The assistants literally roll out the carpet in front of you with an elaborate flourish. Then the salesman talked to us about where the carpets come from and the different styles. Now keep in mind that Professor Angry spent 7 months prior to this trip doing all kinds of research on Kilims. So she knew exactly what she wanted. She laid out all her research from the internet and called the salesman over to give him an example of what she was looking for. It took about 3 hours for us to choose from there selection. We walked away with an undisclosed number of Kilim for a decent price. Omar and I were very instrumental in the negotiation of the final price. After all that we went back to the hotel and rested.

Tuesday was Professor Angry's birthday so Omar decided to take us to a Fantasia at a place called Chez Ali, a fantasia is a tightly choreographed spectacle complete with charging horses and plenty of trick riding and action. The ornate costumes of the participants will remind you of "1,001 Arabian Nights. Going to a fantasia showed me how people in Morocco really know how to pimp their culture. The food at Chez Ali was amazing for a place that looked like a tourist trap. Earlier that day I had the pleasure of meeting one John Weiss a photographer is now a professor of photography at the University of Delaware. Back in the 80's Mr. Weiss released a book called The Face of Baseball.

Wednesday morning we went to a Berber village in the mountains. We had McDonald's for breakfast and I crashed once we got back, I swear the McDonald's overseas is more potent than the McDonald's here in America. After my nap, I spent most of the afternoon chilling by the pool and checking email. Wednesday would be our last day with Omar but at least we would have Abdul as a substitute.

Thursday Abdul drove us to Essouria. The drive was about 2 and half hours. But it was worth it. I listened to my iPod for most of the ride and just sat back and checked out the view. The drive to Essouria was probably one of the best things that I got to experience on this trip. While we were there we ran into Arthur a nice gentleman we met on the way in. He's what I like to call a MAD COOL BROTHA. Arthur is the type of person you can talk to, and feel at the end of the conversation that you've learned something. He was staying at this PHAT riad near the beach and man did he have a view. We also had the pleasure of meeting a nice Jewish man named Joseph who had happened to live in Forest Hills, Queens for a number of years. This was cool for me cause me cause I went to HS in Forest Hills. We chatted in Hebrew for a while and talked about how NYC has changed since 9/11. We ended up buying a painting and some jewelry. If any of you people reading this ever go to Essouria. Do no leave there without trying the fish.

Friday we ended up chilling for most of the day. We went to a nice garden in the day and at night we hooked up with Arthur and drank wine til about 12AM in a riad. While we were there we ran into a Eurotrash table of people that were interested in finding out where we were from, I personally had enough of people asking me if I was an NBA player or the bodyguard of the famous singer (Prof. Angry) I was with.. We blew them off and headed back to the hotel to get a good night's sleep.

Saturday we woke up at 4AM to catch our flight out of Marrakech to Casablanca. The flight home was long and not easy. First off we were at Casablanca for 3 hours with nothing to do. While on the plane I got 2 fevers and was in the middle seat. Let me tell ya something folks being 6'3 and in the middle seat between a woman that is 6'1 and a another gentleman who is 6'2 isn't fun.

So this wraps up my trip to Morocco. All of this was made possible by Professor Angry. Thanks sweetie. I might not be smiling in all the pictures we took but don't think that I didn't have a great time.